“I *heart* Beer”

I am a woman and a beer drinker, and I’m damn proud of it; but I didn’t always feel that way.  It took quite a while, before I ever felt comfortable drinking a beer in public and not feeling self-conscious about it.

That’s because years ago, I used to feel that drinking beer was just a “guy” thing – kind of like cigar smoking, working under cars, farting, or taking out the trash.  Women weren’t supposed to drink beer.  They drank fruit juice-based cocktails, or sweet drinks; like a strawberry daiquiri, vodka and cranberry with a slice of lime, sex on the beach, etc.

But I’ve always loved a nice cold beer; they are especially good on a hot day, or enjoying while eating certain foods.  Pizza and beer just naturally go together.  Sushi with a cold Sapporo, or two, is the best.  Chinese or Szechuan food always tasted better to me with a frosty Tsing Tao on the side.  And doesn’t just about everything at a barbeque taste even better with an icy cold beer?

Once in a while, I like to have a glass of wine here and there; either red or white, depending on what’s for dinner, or whatever I’m in the mood for.  I’ve never really been much for liquor.  Sure, a margarita, fruity rum drink or shot of tequila on occasion, but that’s about it.  I’d much rather have a cold brew.

I have to say that I’ve always felt a little jealous of the cosmopolitan and martini drinkers.  I’d be at a party, and there they were – so “Sex and the City.”  They all looked so sophisticated and trendy; with their cosmos, apple martinis, or vodka or gin martinis in their fancy glasses; with an olive, or a maybe a pearl onion or two, in the bottom.  They would hold their glass so elegantly, (with their pinkies sticking out,) and chatting and laughing as if everything in their lives were so fabulous and grand!

And there I’d be, standing there with my bottle of beer, feeling like I just crawled out of the trailer park.  I felt a little self-conscious holding my beer, almost to the point of wanting to hide it behind my back and not draw attention to it.  I’d discreetly take little sips, here and there, and try to remember to stick MY pinky out.  I thought that might make it look more sophisticated, but there’s really no way to dress up a beer.  As they say, “you can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.”  Oh well – there goes the neighbourhood!

For many years, when I was out in public, I would only drink my beer out of a glass.  I would never drink it out of the bottle, especially out in public.  I just felt that it didn’t look “ladylike,” although I suppose chugging one out of a mug didn’t either.  Looking back, I have no idea where I got that crazy idea, although I’m sure that it could have been from one of my Neanderthal ex-boyfriends.

Now, whenever I drink a beer, it’s usually out of the bottle.  And canned beer?  *gasp*  UGH!!  I don’t care what anybody says…… Canned beer tastes like crap!  It’s metallic-tasting, or something.  It’s gross.  I just think that it tastes better out of a bottle.  Really.

I also like the feel of the bottle on my lips, and I really enjoy drinking them that way.  There’s something slightly sexy about it.  Plus, they feel like they stay colder.  The only possible exception is a frosted mug or glass, but then each beer should get a new one.  I hate going somewhere, getting a frosted pilsner for the first beer that you order, and then the bartender (or waiter,) hopes that you’ll be distracted enough not to notice that the next drink is unfrosted.  I never understood that.  I mean, are they too lazy to get one, or impatient to wait for one from the bartender?  Is the bartender afraid that they’re going to run out of them or something?  Don’t rip the rug out from under me, guys.

I guess that you could also say that I’m kind of a beer snob.  I don’t like all beer, and don’t just drink anything for the sake of drinking it.  I don’t sit with the boys, eat wings, and suck down generic Budweisers.  They taste like carbonated sweat to me.  I don’t understand Buds popularity with the masses, but it seems like it’s another “guy” thing – like beef jerky, tighty-whities, or the tool aisle at Home Depot.

A few years ago, I treated one of my friends to dinner for her birthday.  We went to a Japanese restaurant in the neighbourhood.  We ordered our favourite spicy tuna rolls, smoked eel, yellowtail, and other sushi.  Everything was delicious.  We shared quite a few of the large bottles of icy cold Sapporo, and maybe even sake or two.  It was really a fun evening, and we had a lot of laughs.

She wanted to continue the party, so we stopped by one of her friend’s houses a mile or two away, to continue the celebration and have some more fun.  I was all up for it!  It’s rare that I get a night out, and my daughter was away at relatives for the weekend.  But when we got there, I was offered – to my horror – a can of Budweiser.  To make matters worse, it was barely cold!  I politely accepted it, cautiously tasted about 3 sips, gagged, and then spent the next few miserable hours there sobering up.

I usually prefer a lot of the heavier beers, or beers with little bite to them:  Heineken, St. Pauli Girl, Grolsch, Stella Artois, etc.  They are delicious!  I can’t say the same about Coronas.  I used to drink them a lot in the summer when I was a little younger.  But next time, try one a la carte, and you’ll understand why people put the lime in them.  You may as well lick someone’s sweaty armpit.

I do like some light beers, and will drink a Coors Light here and there.  That started out probably out of calorie and carb-guilt, but they’re actually not all that bad once you get used to them.

I don’t drink the brown ales or stout, like Guinness.  I don’t like the way that they taste, and they are not for the wimpy or light-hearted.  Plus, I’m not sure if there’s more alcohol in them, (like fortified wines,) but I think that they get you too drunk, and that shouldn’t be the reason to drink in the first place.  I like beer for the taste.  If I wanted to get drunk, I’d take a taxicab to Big Daddy’s in Massapequa, and have a few of their deluxe Pat O’Brien hurricanes.  Been there, done that.  Several times.

Ahh, in any case, summertime will soon be here.  Backyard barbeques, picnics, hot days at the beach…..I can hardly wait!  🙂


About Luv2ByteYou

"New Yorkers Aren't Rude - We're Just Impatient!"
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